2009-08-18 [kimberly ida.]: Well, it does frustrate me... but it's the fact that I care enough to actually help them out. Eh, If they don't take my advice the first time... I don't really help them out anymore. But, if they really need it, I'll be kind enough to lend a hand.(:

People don't take it as a threat when I get up all in their business and tell them what's what. They just laugh at me... or make me look like an ass. I just sit back at let them do their thing... but if it gets too out of hand, I put my two sense in it. Most of everyone knows that I'm not a wimp... but also know that I wouldn't hurt him or her unless it was necessary to do so. In which, this year just may be the year to unleash the dark side. xD

I can be like that sometimes, just try and get away with what I had done... because it's ridiculous of what I get in trouble for. Most of the time I don't even do what I got in trouble for. Well, thank you. I'm glad at least someone sees that I am intelligent. I mean; I've raised myself since I was about ten. Yeah, sure my mom was living with me, doesn't mean she was there for me. It just makes me mad that I had to be the one that mad sure I was growing up right; I had to discipline myself. I may not be smart in school, but take me out of school and I'm a pretty smart person. I think you're quite intelligent yourself.

Well, I'm glad. I'm glad that someone can talk to me about anything.

Yeah: you're used to it, but you shouldn't be treated like that. Well, at least you have someone right there if you need anything. See, with my dad... he's got some anger issues... and just the littlest thing said, he blows up... and I don't want the ht to come after me... I'd rather it go to the wall or something... but he would get me taken away... and well, I would be leaving my friends behind if I were to have to move.

I don't think I can ever forgive my parents for how they've been and have treated me. I don't want my children to ever have to go threw that. It's ridiculous of how they don't care if their child is sick or that I need pills or the fact that I can't drink pop... they don't ever buy things for me to drink... Yeah: water is free, but they get flavored things... why can't they think of me? Selfish on my part, I know, but like, I want to know that the see me... And well, my mom calls me fat and all this... I don't want anything to do with her... and every time I tell her something... she goes and blabs it to someone else.

I know, when I was picking up rock in the fields for corn, I was out for nine hours and all I got from it was a tan line on my shoulders... that looks hideous.

I'm proud to say that I am also, a virgin. But also not proud to say that I was almost raped when I was fourteen. Well, not a lot of my friends have kids, but my friend Trisha is nineteen and is on her second child; she's almost ready to have him. My best friend Carissa killed her child as well as my sister. My sister would have a six year old by now. She was sixteen when she had gotten pregnant the first time, she's twenty-one now. I mean; I would have to be in love with the guy that I let have my virginity. Other than that, they can take a hike if that's all they want. I respect myself, they can respect me decisions.

And I promise you that I will never give up. I'ma stay strong and hold my head up high, because there are people out there that will keep me going because they care deeply about me and want me to succeed at what I want to achieve. Whether it is a drug dealer or a lawyer, they'll always be there. I don't want to think there are people that have it worse than me, because that just makes me feel more worse knowing that I can't do anything to stop it.

I'm glad that we got to talk about everything also, it's great to have someone to talk to about how things are.(: <3

2009-08-20 [KillChasityDead]: Sorry I don't have time to reply to your message right now.
I've been out of town all day.
And I have to go to bed early tonight.
Like, right now actually.
I start school in the morning.
So, I'll reply to it tomorrow.
:)
I hope you have a great night.

2009-08-21 [kimberly ida.]: Nah, it's fine.(:
it's pretty long. :P
I've been in school since the nineteenth./:
I slept about from the time I came home.. four-twenty
to about nine-thirty at night. School is just dreadful.
I hope you have a great day at school tomarrow.

2009-08-21 [InLoveDontBothe r]: ive been told that i was fat and ugly too...and i got to the point where i believed it and now i call myself fat and ugly and i have like no self esteem/confidence and i hate who i am and i wish i was better looking

2009-08-21 [KillChasityDead]: =/
I'm sorry that your family is like that, Kimberly.
I couldn't imagine.
:(

I dunno what I'd do without my mom to be there for me. My mom is really protective of me.
I mean, for instance if my dad is being really mean to me, mom will bitch at him and make him shut up.
Typically she calls him an asshole and that's the end of it, and he goes off to his room like a little kid.

Lol.
So, things would be much worse without my mom around.
But, I guess what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, right Kimberly?

Like I said before, you'll be able to move out soon enough.
High school goes by really fast.
Seriously.

So, just a little while longer and you will never ever have to deal with your family or people from school ever again.

And thank you very much.
School yesterday was okay.
I have a girl from high school whom I graduated with, in there with me, so its okay.

Actually, I had all of my classes with her senior year.
It's kind of funny.
There is a full class. The rest of the students in my class are of women ranging from the age of 24-their 40's.
It's awkward and kind of intimidating.
But, I guess that'll pass soon enough.
As long as they're all friends, which, they have been so far.
:)
I'm just extremely nervous about my stupid ankle.
Yesterday we weren't even on our feet long at all, and my ankle was so swollen when I came home.

Blah.

So, when we go into lab I don't know what I'll do.

Oh well.
I guess I'll just have to suck it up and take medicine for the swelling.
D:

And, I'm sorry to hear that [InLoveDontBothe r].
But, you really shouldn't let other people like that bring you down.
It's not worth it.
Who cares what other people think?
I don't.
I say fuck the haters.
Lol.
And if you REALLY want to do something about it, you can.
Just think positive!
But, I think you look fine as you are.

2009-08-25 [kimberly ida.]: Nah, it's fine. I've lived through it for so long, I'm used to it.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'll be fine. <3

Ugh, my dad has my back sometimes.. like Saturday my mom was going to beat the shit out of me.. and my dad calmed her down.. and talked her out of it.

Soon better be quick.. I wanna get out !:D
I mean.. it's not bad.. but I would be so much more happier then living in this hellhole.

You're welcome. Monday was the best day of school.. I laughed so hard!:D and had everyone laughing too.. haha. (:

Well, about your ankle.. ice it at night.
it'll make the swelling go down.

2009-08-25 [KillChasityDead]: Still, no one should have to go through something like that.

And it's good your dad has your back.
Sorry, but if my mom ever tried to do something like that to me, I'd hit her back.
I mean, if she did it for no reason, and if she was a shitty mom.
But shes not.
In your case, I would have totally decked her right in the face.

And, it will be.
I wanna move out in 2 years from now.
:)

And I'm glad.
My 2nd day of school was today.
It was okay.
We had to wash each others hair and a lot of the girls didn't take the faucet thing off before they turned the water on, so water squirted across the room.
And when my friend Amy was doing my hair, she forgot and it got her right in the face.
Lol.

And I've been taking lots of advil and anti-inflammatory stuff for it.
It's not really hurting me that bad, surprisingly.

2009-08-25 [kimberly ida.]: Nah, it's fine. I'd rather have me go through it than anyone else.

But my dad also hits me too. So, it's either way.. either one or the other has my back, depending on the situation. My mom is a bitch.. and my dad is a dickwhipe.
Nah, I mean, I would have decked her too, but I don't want to stoop down to their level, I'm bigger than that, you know?

I wanna move.. like.. this year. xD

Today would have been my fourth day at school.. I believe. :P
it was... off the balls fun! :D
Ha, that sounds like it would have been funny.. I would have chuckled a little. :P

Well, I hate sprained/swollen things.. they suck.

2009-08-25 [KillChasityDead]: That's true, I suppose.

And, that's super gay.
D:<
I'd hit him too.
Now, I wouldn't have any trouble hitting my step dad if he ever did what he used to do.
If he were to TOUCH me, I'd flip shit on him.

But yes, I know what you mean.
And I wish I could. But I have to finish school.

And what happened at school that made it so fun?
Lol.

And yes, yes they do.

2009-08-25 [kimberly ida.]: I mean, I've been dead since I was born.. pretty much.
so, I'm used to not being wanted.. I would rather me be unhappy then have someone be in the same situation or worse..
it's just who I am.

Well, yeah, it's lame, but you know..
it's life.. live with what you got, right?

haha, I can still finish school if I were to leave now..

well, just being my good'o'self
and had everyone laughing their bunns off..
because of the things I was saying.. :P

2009-08-25 [KillChasityDead]: That's not true.
D:
But, I get what you're saying.

And yeah, I know.
Lol.

You're lucky.
I cant because I'm already in a college and I'm staying there.
Transferring would be a pain in the ass.
And, when I move, it's going to be FAR away from here.

And that's good.
I love making people laugh.
I got class comedian.
:)

2009-08-25 [kimberly ida.]: Well, it's not, but it feels like I'm not wanted around here.

well, I'm still a sophomore in High School. (:
So, transferring would be quick and easy.
I know what you mean! :D
I wanna move to California or something like that. :P

haha, dood.. I wanna get that one too!:D
lmao, I told my skinny friend that he needed a bra because he was forming some mann tits. (:

2009-08-25 [KillChasityDead]: Haha.
That's exactly where I plan on moving.
All the way from North Carolina to California.


Haha.
Yeah.
I didn't think I'd get it, but I wanted it really bad.
And that's funny.
Lol.
I hope he didn't think you were serious though.
D:
Lol.

2009-08-25 [kimberly ida.]: Dood, maybe someday we'll meet and be like,
I totally know you. heh. (:
From Iowa to California... what a life. :P

haha, he knew I was kidding.
I'm never not being serious. So, he just laughed at what I said..
because he thought iw as funny.. (:

2009-08-25 [KillChasityDead]: Haha.
Maybe.
I just wanna move there because that's where my boyfriend of almost 3 years lives.
:)

And good.
I'm always afraid that when I joke around like that, people don't know that I'm kidding and they think I'm a complete bitch or something.
But, it's the complete opposite.

2009-08-25 [kimberly ida.]: I wanna move there because my parents/family never go out west, they go east. (:
Well, I hope the best for you two. <3

Ahh shit, everyone knows that I'm not serious.. when I am.. they know it.. because that's when I'm all quiet and have this mean look on my face. (:

2009-08-25 [KillChasityDead]: Yeah.
The east coast is okay.
It's good for old people who want to retire and settle down somewhere nice.
But, I think the west coast has more to offer for younger people.
And, I get so sick of being surrounded by 80 year olds all the time.
Lol.

And that's good.
Lol.
When I'm upset I'm either really quiet or I cry.
I'm such a crybaby.
Seriously.

2009-08-25 [kimberly ida.]: I hate the middle states..
they're all lame as hell.. especially Iowa..
it's CORN.. it's like.. are you serious?
WHY!? xD
Sundays are killer, old people invastion!

Same here,
that's exactly how I am.
that's kinda weird.

2009-08-25 [KillChasityDead]: Haha.
It's the same where I live in NC.
I live in the mountains.
Cow fields everywhere, and corn.
Oh,and churches.

Lol.
Yeah.
My boyfriend hates me for it sometimes.

2009-08-28 [kimberly ida.]: Ugh, I hate farms..
and unfortunately I live on one./:
Old people drive me insane.. they think
it's necissary to drive ten miles and hour..
damn. :P
I haven't been to a church since I was seven..
and I'm almost sixteen. :P

eh, last night I called my eyes out./:

2009-08-28 [KillChasityDead]: It's a lot of work to live on a farm.
I couldn't do it.
My grandma has one.
She has chickens, horses, goats, donkeys, and a big garden.
Lol.
I like going over there.
But I couldn't do all the work that's necessary to keep everything running smoothly.

And why?